Bullies Need Help Too!
by Icia Reid-Sandulak
Bullies are searching for something they do not have, “CONTROL”. Bullies come in many forms, shapes and sizes. Bullying among children is really an aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves power. Many children feel that they are being bullied by a parent, or parents, older sibling, or by others, but they are powerless against those giants that are bullying them. When these children get around their peers, they seek out the most vulnerable opponents to target and take out their frustrations on them. Many children who bully others are lonely at heart, other times trying to fit in with a certain group. There may have been a traumatic incident, such as physical and/or verbal violence, or some type of life change within the family. This could leave the child feeling like he/she has lost control.
Many children who bully often have a positive view and justification for this behavior. They sometimes act aggressively toward other people, including adults. They may start by hitting, pushing, punching, teasing or name-calling. Sometimes bullying is also done through intimidation, gestures, and exclusion from social settings. Children, who bully others, are often lacking empathy, as they have not learned healthy interaction with others. If you suspect that your child is a bully, you can help him/her by redirecting the negative behaviors and guide them towards a more positive behavior, showing them how to be sensitive to others, and pointing out how their behaviors are hurtful to others. If this intervention does not work, then you may want to seek professional help for your child, such as sending them to counseling. We need to help our children as a community. We need to ensure that someone is helping not only the child who is being bullied, but the child who is the bully.
Icia Reid-Sandulak , has been working with children for the last 20 years. She has a background in Social Work and is the mother of four children, one son and three daughters. Presently, she is the director of Apple Grove Foster Care Agency and invites anyone who aspires to be a foster parent to contact the office for information.